you are it.
whenever you go to town you hide your mankles, i mean yankles, you hide them under long skirts, under bell bottomed fringey laced leggings, with high heeled men's camping boots, rugged gear meant for mountain climbs, red rocks above a natural steep grade, fast running truck below the skyline. quick quick turn off the cell phone before you are caught under radar spying your inconclusive manner, cell phone no skype, no make-up, wrinkles appear under the sunlit lips, a service unexpected, a mild growth of barely audible speech, a gargle, a ferret climbing near the vines along gardened in terrace, a loose ferret
unaccompanied rodent just going out for a walk, a breeze of an instant, a collusion of thinking freedom and actual freedom, a moment again of naked bliss, of fear throbbing through your body, racing into your mind, afraid of a second chance of forgetting and remembering innocence. a blot of energy you think it is time.
i think it is time for mankle to be healed!! so i wait and dream a freedom of running, running around like a child i once was, and may become with delusion of an uninformed mind, always thinking i am thinking with my heart, and then that is thinking again. mankle is frozen. she feels her metal plates and her growing bone onto bone, her stiffness, her heaviness. when i look at her, she is much straighter than i remember her, less bony, less fragile, not pretty ankley flirtatious dancer ankle. wet, muddy, sore, ankle achy limb appendage grief. i grieve for her loss of beauty yet i love her still, her majesty is bound to my concept, yet i have no idea.
there is a color i miss seeing, it is paint. my hands are drowning in much nothingness as they wait for some energy to bring mankle and my other body downstairs into the new studio. yesterday i brought my body down those steps into the studio of light and unfathomed paradise on my way out with noah and wheelchair. we went to dharma ocean, crestone's largest buddhist center, to hear reggie ray teach meditation guidelines along with a dharma talk. i liked being out and seeing lots of crestone people who i know, some whom i do not know. at one point we were all asked to lie down, i stayed in friend wheelchair, who by the way, needs a name. i'll name her now, “aida”. aida is the one that i go out with, there is another wheelchair that i use upstairs in our home, his name is georgie. they are identical twins altho aida is larger than georgie. anyway, i am sitting on aida with my right leg extended straight out from my right hip, above all the lying down people, breathing in through my nostrils while opening up my heart. we are all opening up our hearts with the nostril thing, wiggling flares. there are about 60 of us, all breathing in out in out together, on our backs, and i pretend too to be on my back. the alchemy of all of us together lying on zafu pillowed black, the infinity of wide nostrils and seeing dolphins pink nosed air breather mammalian lung capacitors.
i'll go out next week too.